Mbu eMBedded. Desperately Needing Extrication from Obsession.

(pic taken from another forum, for illustrative purposes)

What is this? I'm going crazy. Or crazy is having a real go at me. It's 2:39AM; I've set, at least, four alarms to make sure that I do get up at 9AM as I have plans which involve travelling across aquatic borders to the neighbouring country for an important event.

I am supposed to be k-n-a-c-k-e-r-e-d. I haven't been sleeping well for the past few days. A measly couple to three hours (please do not forget that I am essentially, cosmologically a Lioness and therefore require extreme amounts of sleep). AND YET! After a full Saturday spent running errands and trawling through the Yishun neighbourhood, checking out LFS* and then going for an exhibition opening where copious amounts of whiskey had been imbibed, I've swung from exhaustion-verging-upon-falling-asleep-on-the-spot to nail-biting-hair-pulling-feverish-awakeness. 'Kill me' as a wish and fervent desire doesn't seem to be too far off the mark. And what is the mark? The target? The goal of my obsession, so to speak?

Tetraodon mbu. Giant freshwater puffer. Giant = SL of 30" (75cm). Carnivorous with a beak that needs to be kept in check. So lots of feeding of shelled fish/animals = Heavy, dedicated investment. I really do need to think through this but I can't stop thinking about them.

Why? Why why why why? It just seems too much to fight against fate. I had only just discovered them this Saturday morning and had browsed the Net for information on them. Today, I came across two specimens in one of the LFS. I should have stopped myself then, but there I was, as glassy-eyed as the sides of the aquarium, enthralled by the fish. I had even picked out the one I wanted (although I had believed that I was just considering).

And what have I done in the last half-hour? Gone back to all the information I had dug up, with a fire of desire (don't groan, I do like the rhyming) to commit them to memory. At this stage, it's not 'research' to plan for an action, it's a defense mechanism to justify an action I've already committed in my mind. I WANT THAT MBU PUFFER AND I'VE CALLED IT MINE. I've even taken down the number of the LFS so I can call them up to reserve the fellow.

I really shouldn't do this. I'm planning to move house, and I need to set up my tanks properly. I can't impulse buy this fellow. I am completely and utterly in the throes of passion, it's unfunny.

I should be sleeping. Not puffed up with desire, obsession and crazed-ness.


*LFS = local fish shops, for the non-fish geekazoid.